Is the spirit leading me or is my heart just pounding?

Tonight, I was chilling in the hot tub at Splash Harbor, when I struck up a conversation with a woman. She had mentioned how her pastor's wife had recommended Splash Harbor for a simple getaway with the kids. I started to just drop the conversation, but I had the thought to bring up the fact that she mentioned her pastor's wife, and ask her if she was a Christian. I did after a little while because I was afraid she'd think I was weird. But almost immediately after that conversation, I started feeling the urge to ask the gentleman across the hot tub the same question: "Are you a christian?" I dropped it, thinking it wasn't anything, but my heart started pounding, and I felt it grow heavy. Not like upset heavy, but .. burden heavy, like I was getting excited about this. But I wasn't ... I felt excited to talk to this man about being a Christian, but I was NOT excited at all. So, I kept relaxing in the hot tub. The thought didn't go away, though. Where did it come from? This urge to ask this man i DIDN'T know if he was a christian. I found myself running scenarios through my head .. maybe he had been thinking about becoming a christian for a long time, but couldn't find the means to go to church or something, so my question would lead him to start asking me questions about God and he would suddenly get saved or something. Those scenarios didn't stop coming, but i kept thinking 'I can't do anything like that for God - plus I'm too scared!' and the 'what ifs' started coming.

Finally, I stood up, with every intention of submitting to what I considered might be God's leading, and lost the courage LAST SECOND and just climbed out of the hot tub. I kept walking, and felt SO guilty. kept feeling as if I had let God down.

So after a minute or so, I turned back around and traveled back to the hot tub with every intention to do 'God's will' and ask this man if he was a christian ...

He was gone.

It has been two hours since that happened, and yet my heart still feels heavy as if i missed an oppurtunity for God. I don't know if this was what God wanted me to do, and I will never know since I didn't take a risk. But I won't let that get to me. I'll pray that either God lets me see that man once again tomorrow, or that He'll give me another oppurtunity some other time with someone else. And next time, I'll listen.

The moral of all of this? Even if you don't know if it's God or not ... which I believe tonight, it was ... just take the risk. Go for it. Because you never know what might happen when you take it.

Monica <3

Overwhelmed by His presence.

As I come into Your presence
Past the gates of praise
Into Your sanctuary
Til we're standing face to face
I look upon Your countenance
I see the glory of Your Holy face
I can only bow down and say...

You are awesome in this place, Mighty God
You are awesome in this place, Abba Father
You are worthy of all praise
To You our hands we raise
You are awesome in this place, Mighty God




You are awesome, Mighty God - I lift my hands to praise You as I fall to my knees, feeling overwhelmed by Your glory and love. Oh, my Lord, you are my Savior, my Redeemer, my Comfort. Thank-You, Lord God Almighty, for Your presence. I am overwhelmed by Your majesty. I am overwhelmed by Your mercy! Lord, keep me close to You, hold me in Your arms at night and in times of trial. Hold me at all times of the day, Lord. I want to stay close to You! You, Lord, get me through!


So, last night the youth group just surrendered themselves to God and worshiped. It was overwhelming, and I was on my face worshiping my Lord and Savior. I had a perfect view of the cross, and it was slightly lit by a light on the altar .. and I got lost in my tears ... lost in worship. I got lost in praising my King, my GOD.

Majesty,
Overwhelming majesty.
In Your presence, I feel a touch,
Of peace,
In Your presence, is a blanket,
Of hope.
In Your presence, is a showering,
Of LOVE.
In Your presence ...
In Your presence...
IN YOUR PRESENCE...

I don't see anything but You.




Monica <3

While others are looking for hope ... we're tucking it away.

1 Corinthians 9:22-23

22When I am with those who are weak, I share their weakness, for I want to bring the weak to Christ. Yes, I try to find common ground with everyone, doing everything I can to save some. ²³ I do everything to spread the Good News and share in its blessings.


I was just thinking about that song, 'Stained Glass Masquerade' by Casting Crowns .. and then the song 'Looking for Angels' by Skillet .. both songs are GREAT songs about getting the message of Christ across ... but the twist on both, is that they both deal with how we DON'T do it.

For instance, in Stained Glass Masquerade, it talks about how we seem to hide God's hope from the rest of the world .. because we're afraid that if we show them that we needed it and still do, they'll see us as weak ..

God's hope doesn't work that way! God's strength doesn't work that way! Pastor Mark reminded me of one of my favorite scriptures that says that HIS POWER WORKS BEST IN OUR WEAKNESS! so the power of the Holy God is shown in our weakness .. when we call on Him, His power, strength, love and MERCY is shown.

We must show a dying and hurting world that there is HOPE for the hurting, REST for the weary, and STRENGTH for the weak! We cannot do that by hiding away our weakness ...

Monica <3

Stained Glass Masquerade - Casting Crowns


Is there anyone that fails
Is there anyone that falls
Am I the only one in church today feelin’ so small

Cause when I take a look around
Everybody seems so strong
I know they’ll soon discover
That I don’t belong

So I tuck it all away, like everything’s okay
If I make them all believe it, maybe I’ll believe it too
So with a painted grin, I play the part again
So everyone will see me the way that I see them

*Chorus*
Are we happy plastic people
Under shiny plastic steeples
With walls around our weakness
And smiles to hide our pain
But if the invitation’s open
To every heart that has been broken
Maybe then we close the curtain
On our stained glass masquerade

Is there anyone who’s been there
Are there any hands to raise
Am I the only one who’s traded
In the altar for a stage

The performance is CONVINCING
And we know every line by heart
Only when no one is watching
Can we really fall apart

But would it set me free
If I dared to let you see
The truth behind the person
That you imagine me to be

Would your arms be open
Or would you walk away
Would the love of Jesus
Be enough to make you stay

Chorus x2

Well if the invitation’s open
To every heart that has been broken
Maybe then we close the curtain
On our stained glass masquerade

Is there anyone that fails
Is there anyone that falls
Am I the only one in church today feelin’ so small